"I need a your shoulder S"
Dah habis semuanya for term 1. like semuanya! I'm done. sangat bersyukur and happy :) ok. back to the point, apa anda rasa tentang engaging with people? This is actually one of my modules for Personal and Professional Development Course. but, I think the words just suit my mood now.
As much as I would love to engage with people, I am hating it at the same time too. Why? Because I am a very very emotional person. I have high empathy as well as anything-related. I don't know. It can be any emotions. huhu. I am either not engaging with people or too engaged with them. That is why I am so vulnerable. I wasn't able to put moderation upon my actions.
I easily get irritated, annoyed, jealous and at the same time, I easily be happy, smiling and etc just because of the people surrounding me. wuuu. Before this, I think I am nothing like that. But, after I got into Leeds, I have changed. MUCH! It can't be that dramatic? yes. it did. I changed. Sob. I don't like this new me. The vulnerable person. The emotionally-attached person. The stressful efi.
I don't like this! I always feel scared if somebody leaves me. If somebody cannot be with me. I think I am an egocentric person that needs people I love to be with me all the time. And that is not good. I realized that the world are not just revolving around me, but seriously I can't help it. I cried when they leave me just because they have some other things to do. I much rather avoid having love rather than hurting myself because of love. Cruel I am.
Help me change
xx
2 comments:
Sayang, perasaan ni bagus bila kena pada tempatnya..
bila kita sayang Allah.. dan tak nak Allah tinggalkan kita.. dan nangis sebab Allah tinggalkan kita setelah kita buat apa yg Allah tak suka..
menjadikan kita hamba yg sangat2 attach dengan Allah.. sentiasa cautious dengan perbuatan kita. bimbang pada kemurkaan Allah dan bersegera utk buat apa yg Allah suka..
we'll work on this together insyaAllah ya sayang? biiznillah
Efi! Hope u r ok now. Such feelings sgt mmbhykn if anda trlalu ikutkan perasaan. It is not a fault to be emotional. Emotion that add spices to our life. Shows how much we care and we enjoy our life. But dont trlalu ikutkan perasaan. Make sure our emotion dont control ourselves. Be rational and firm in decision.
Banyakkan doa and solat mintak tenang hati. Remember, our life is all under His control and He wont make things that doesnt fit u. Ap2 pun make sure our love to Him overrides everything. If we managed to do this, semua hal2 lain will come to us unexpectedly and life will be definitely easy iA =)
Pray tht i'll be fine
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