Now..

Salam,

Now, I have so many things in mind:

1.

2.

3.

4.

Allah, ease my summer journey ^.^

efi

First week of Malaysia (Summer '11)

Salam

Finally, after all the hurdles back in UK, I managed to land LCCT safely last Tuesday. Penatnyee. From Manchester, to Munich, To Singapore, and naik AirAsia to LCCT, Kuala Lumpur. Lamenye la dalam flight, around 15+ hours jugak. Belum campur dengan train lagi. phew. Bila sampai je, Yeay! And, amazingly, I am so starved at that time due to lack-of-food in the flight. 11 hours food with only one rice and one kinda lempeng. Mane ckup. huuuu. So hungry. Nasib baik sampai je, family dah siap tunggu. Gembira sangat jumpa semua orang. So, my family and ijat's family go to Nilai together and have quick supper or dinner for me there. 

Mish everyone soo much. hehe. And today is Friday and I took another flight to Mukah, Sarawak. Teman mama bagi kem sejarah kat MRSM Mukah. My sister, Ameera and I both rilek2 je datang. Mama la kene kerja. Ingat lagi kes pagi tadi. Almost kene tinggal dengan plane sebab information board AirAsia kat LCCT tu b)*&h giler. Nak check-in kaunter mane pun tak tulis. Ade ke tulis 'kiosk' je. Ingat orang tau ke kiosk tu ape? Tanya cik adik informtion counter, dia cakap kiosk tu self-check-in machine. Ok. So kami pun pergilah. Tapi tak boleh. Sbb patutnye self check-in boleh buat between 23-1 hours prior to flight. Flight pukul 7am, and at that time dah pukul 6.05am. So, dah tak boleh. Pergi kat cik adik kaunter lagi, dia kata pergi kaunter R1-R10. Ok. Pergilah. Terkejut tengok beratur panjang sangat. Tapi apa boleh buat. Beratur je lah. Tengah-tengah stress beratur, dengar lak announcement " Untuk penumpang penerbangan AK5190, sila hadirkan diri ke kaunter R55-56 untuk dafyar masuk dan penerbangan anda akan berlepas tidak lama lagi".

Oh no! So lari pulak ke kaunter R55-56. Panjang lagi orang beratur! Gila ke ape lagi 30 minit nak berlepas tak check-in lagi. Orang depan lak sebok gaduh tak nak bayar berat beg lebih die. Dah tau book untuk 25kg, gi letak 30kg kat rel bag check-in tu buat ape. Siap nak deal mintak taknak bayar. Hempuk kang. Tak tau ke ramai tengah beratur kat belakang dan rules are rules! Bayar je la. haiyo. Kalau tak gi la buang mane2 barang. =.='

Emo betul dengan orang-orang camni. huhu. Buat lambat sangat. Nasib baik kat security kami dapat special skit, tak payah beratur panjang2 macam orang lain sebab flight nak terbang dah. So, berlari lah kitorang ke plane. Punye lah jauh teminal plane. Lagi satu minit je lagi plane nak terbang and nasib baik sempat masuk. Phew. Serius taknak dah buat camtu. ;( 

p/s: kalau dah tau flight kol 7, check-in kol 5. so, Ameera, datang awal! Kalau datang awal kan senang. Takdelah kelam kabut =.='

Lastly, enjoy the pictures

at Mukah hotel having breakfast

Kingwood Hotel to be exact

front view of the hotel

Mama, meera, me and Isteri cikgu Sejarah MRSM Mukah

at Pantai Mukah

some Chinese Temple otw to Sibu

still jet lag lagi =.= (takle bukak mate dah)

ni tumpang kereta cikgu MRSM tu pulang ke Sibu

sempat melawat kedai jual tembikar Sarawak

at Sungai Rejang/Rajang (sungai terpanjang di Malaysia)

ni clan hebat ni siap ade memorial

hotel di Sibu, Paramount hotel

airport Sibu (kecil dan bosan dan panas)

mama pun penat dah tunggu flight asyek delayed je ;(

efi

What is this?

http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/info.asp?y=2011&dt=0529&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Rencana&pg=re_08.htm

Salam

1st: What is this? In the newspaper? 

2nd: Teaching all husband to curang? what?

3rd: Nampak cm seronok pulak kalau curang kan dlm ni? pffft

4th: Tak faham dah. Isu besar mcm ni buat main-main je.

Title suami datang dengan tanggungjawab dan amanah. Kalau dah nak buat macam ni, masuk longkang je la. Emo sungguh dengan artikel-artikel macam ni. 

;(

efi

OSCE

Salam

Last two days, saya tolong as helper for OSCE examination. In University of Leeds, OSCE started on year 3. So, ni kira preparation for the next year's OSCE lah. Banyak gak benda dapat belajar daripada tolong-tolong ni. In the morning, I am assigned to be thyroid examination patients. First of all, I noticed how many of them are tremoring mase examined saya. huu. Dapat tengok betapa berdebarnya jugak orang-orang kat sini buat OSCE. Bukan Melayu/International students je la yang takut dengan OSCE ni.

Pemarkahan OSCE ni quite simple je bile saya tengok. I asked the consultant/ examiner whether markah berbeza tak for inspection of face as an example, for orang yang listed all cannot-be-find abnormalities dengan orang yang cakap simply, the patient's face seems fine and normal? Then dia jawab, sama je. Ok. So, take note, kalau untuk examination yang tak cukup masa macam cardiac exam, baik cakap cepat2 je normal and buat examination lain dengan cepat, daripada bazir masa cakap lama2 kat inspection je. huhu.

Then ada students yang tak jumpa pulse and tak kira pulse rate, so, kira dapat markah tak walaupun dia ada effort buat. Examiner kata Tak. Sebab supposedly dalam soalan dah cakap yang "Students should not find any abnormalities on patients". So, wajib jugak lah semua benda dapat rasa and confirmed yang semuanya normal. One more thing, dalam Thyroid examination ramai yang lupa auscultate, percuss and do reflex tests. 

Then I went to urinalysis station. Ni station yang mendebarkan sebab kne buat urine dipstick test. So, first of all, ramai lupa pakai apron. Ramai lupa check expired date of the dipsticks. Then, tak explain whether the urine is from midstream or sample cathether. Orang pun tak comment sangat pasal colour,smell and etc for the urine. Tapi ramai pass lah on commenting the urine analysis results. Cuma ramai tak perasan ada jam dekat depan meja. So, sume guna jam sendiri kat seluar diorang. Agak geli lah bila glove with urine pegang bersentuh dengan seluar pulak kan. ahaha.

Soalan OSCE yang lain pun dah tak tipikal sangat. Ada soalan kat "vital signs" station tu susah. And ada kena amek history of pain in the knee. Hmm. tu musculoskeletal ke? Macam bukan. Mix kot. So, kene prepare dengan all sorts of questions la. Ada hari semalam, soalan pasal breast keluar. Not sure la apa diagnosis dia. Sebab ada yang kena give possible two diagnosis (contoh soalan pasal patients who complained about breathlessness). Soalan radiology pun agak susa. Tapi tak sempat pulak nak masuk and tengok apa soalan dia. Just I know ramai complained susah. huhu

Ok la. That's it. Nanti ada lagi akan ditambah kemudian. Have to record all findings for next year's OSCE.

Endure

Salam

Sometimes,kita takkan dapat apa yang kita nak. Walau macam mana kita usaha pun, and walau kuat mana pun kemahuan kita, bila dah takdir kita tak boleh dapat, then memang kita takkan dapat. Macam saya hari ni, sangat stress sebab results grade esei saya tak memuaskan untuk saya. Saya dah cuba yang terbaik dah buat reflection yang saya rasa paling bagus, tapi still results tak bagus. Pelik saya dengan kriteria esei2 macam ni. Sedih sangat. Rasa tak berbaloi penat lelah.

Saya still stress walaupun malam sudah larut. Rasa loser dalam diri tak hilang lagi. Tak tahu dah macam mana nak motivate diri sendiri. Penatnya study. Dah banyak dah saya mengeluh rasanya. Memang tak bagus. Tapi stress dengan banyaknya benda yang perlu distudy lagi buat saya rasa makin penat. Penat dengan semua benda. Penat nak buka buku lagi. Penat dah dengan results yang tak best. Lagi penat bila orang yang diharapkan dapat membantu dah fedup untuk tolong apa-apa lagi.

Saya perlu sangat orang bersama saya susah senang. Yang mampu bagi saya semangat dan memahami break down saya.Yang takkan pergi tinggalkan saya bila saya kesedihan. Semoga Allah kurniakan saya manusia macam tu. Pleaseee T.T

Efi

another sunday

salam

Hari ahad. Hari yang sangat windy. Dan sudah kelaparan pun. Teringin sangat nak makan chinese food. Tapi xde. Kat dapur cuma ada spagheti. Sepatutnya kenalah makan. Bukan ada makanan lain pun. Tapi tak boleh jugak. Tekak rasa kering dan tak berselera tengok makanan lain. Jadi, air suam je lah jadi santapan sampai perut kembung. Hmm. Lapar. Nak study pun susah. Badan dah mula panas. Rasa macam nak demam lagi. Sebab tu tak rasa macam patut keluar rumah hari ini. Tunggu je lah esok kalau nak pergi library pun. 

Sekarang tekak makin rasa sakit. Rasa sakit sebab tahan daripada menangis. Pernah tak rasa macam tu? Rasa tekak macam dijerut, rasa pahit di belakang tekak dan perut rasa macam dicubit. Semua sebab nak tahan daripada menangis. Kalau orang tanya, kenapa rasa macam tu? Saya akan jawab. Entahlah. Rasa diuji dengan orang yang paling kita sayang. Takpelah. Apa pun dia nak buat biarlah. Asalkan dia hidup sihat dan sejahtera. Walaupun saat ni bukanlah saat paling membahagiakan dalam hidup, tapi inilah antara bukti yang saya masih hidup di dunia ini. 

Sejak kebelakangan ni, saya asyik bermimpi buruk. Saya dapat rasakan yang saya akan dikecewakan oleh sesuatu. Dalam mimpi tu, saya seolah-olah cuba meyakinkan diri saya yang saya akan hidup bahagia. Yang saya terpilih untuk hidup gembira tapi pada hakikatnya, saya tidak. Mimpi tu seolah-olah benar dan acap kali, saya terjaga tengah malam dalam keadaan berpeluh-peluh. Hujan di luar bilik dan angin kuat tak mampu menyejukkan saya yang tidur disebabkan mimpi itu. Saya takut. Banyak mimpi saya jadi kenyataan. Mimpu itu seolah-olah petanda. Tapi, mimpi pun mainan tidur. Mungkin patut let it go je. Hanya berharap mimpi-mimpi buruk tak menganggu lagi. 

Perut semakin lapar. Lecture notes memanggil-manggil. Saya patut berhenti sekarang. Mungkin untuk menangis sehingga tertidur bagi menghilangkan kelaparan. Entah. Tengoklah bagaimana.

Sehingga akan datang

efi

Wewuwa

Salam wbt

Long time since I last wrote. More than 6 months I guess. wawawa. What inspire me to write my blog today is because of my appraisal that just happened last evening. I was appraised by Sue Whittle, the kind yet strict lady, from BMS department. She was ohh-kay la jugak, not so bad. She asked me questions in a nice way. As a result, I managed to control myself from laughing excessively or tremoring or merepek-ing through out the appraisal. I don't want to write anything about what happened in the appraisal, but I would like to highlight what she told me in the end of it.

She asked me whether I know "Progress File" or whether I know the existence of such programme in our university portal. Wahaha. Thank God I used to use it when I was in Y1. Now? Not anymore due to my super laziness and my addiction playing games + sleeping whenever I have 'leisure' time. Then, she started to explain about the importance to do reflection. It is not just about reminiscing or remembering what had happened to us, but to recognize our feelings, what had gone well or what could be improved in the next future. At that time, I admit, I was like "uh-oh". I knew that already. XD

However, when she started to explain about how she reflected the difficulties that happened to her all through her career, it started to kick some sense. I like it when she said that some people avoid thinking about bad things that had happened to them as a mechanism to not get upset. Or some people might think about the issue too much (sambil letak tangan in front of her face) until they cannot think properly how to handle it and get very-very upset about it. I admit that is true. It happened to me. Sometimes, I just don't want to think about the bad things I have done in hospitals and tried to forget about it. And sometimes, I cried like h*&^ because I feel like a loser when I was not able to perform like others.

Well, if I was able to reflect on myself and make notes on my weakness and list the things that should be improved, I must get to be a better person by time. Not just that, I can ensure that my mental health is okay too. I must hardly get depressed if I just face all my problems without thinking about running from them. haha. That is me. I like to run away, far-far away from my problems. wuhu.

Ok that is all for now. Let's study guys!

efi