Engaging with People

Salam people

"I need a your shoulder S"

Dah habis semuanya for term 1. like semuanya! I'm done. sangat bersyukur and happy :) ok. back to the point, apa anda rasa tentang engaging with people? This is actually one of my modules for Personal and Professional Development Course. but, I think the words just suit my mood now.

As much as I would love to engage with people, I am hating it at the same time too. Why? Because I am a very very emotional person. I have high empathy as well as anything-related. I don't know. It can be any emotions. huhu. I am either not engaging with people or too engaged with them. That is why I am so vulnerable. I wasn't able to put moderation upon my actions. 

I easily get irritated, annoyed, jealous and at the same time, I easily be happy, smiling and etc just because of the people surrounding me. wuuu. Before this, I think I am nothing like that. But, after I got into Leeds, I have changed. MUCH!  It can't be that dramatic? yes. it did. I changed. Sob. I don't like this new me. The vulnerable person. The emotionally-attached person. The stressful efi. 

I don't like this! I always feel scared if somebody leaves me. If somebody cannot be with me. I think I am an egocentric person that needs people I love to be with me all the time. And that is not good. I realized that the world are not just revolving around me, but seriously I can't help it. I cried when they leave me just because they have some other things to do.  I much rather avoid having love rather than hurting myself because of love. Cruel I am. 

Help me change

xx

Post-Exam Syndrome

Salam

feels like fireworks :p (bonfire night scene)

After all the hard weeks before exam, finally you manage to finish it. Then what?! Ugh. That is what happening to me. Even though I know I have lots of thing to sort out but haha, I am way too blur right now to do anything. hmmm..Maybe while writing this post I can sort my life back to normal. So, what do I have to do after this ye?

1. Go swimming! In winter. Must be a memorable one. ngeee~

2. Tomorrow, go daurah at Rochdale. InsyaAllah.

3. Supposely, I have to send NISE invitation letters to all university. (Must do) and yes. Organise the last meeting before Christmas holidays. 

4. Get ready to kick start my gear for SSC. weeehuuuuu. Gonna rock the SSC (big yeay)

5.Shopping Shopping Shopping. I haven't shopped for at least one and a half months da. Sob. Even I don't have enough comfy and warm socks to wear. How pathetic!

6. Preparation for Amsterdam holidays. Make appropriate research of places-must-go, things-to-do, what-to-eat and bla bla. hmmm. Suddenly I just remembered, where do I put the booking confirmation e-mail eh? oh prepare for winter retreat juge.

7. Taking pictures and make video!! omg! a Big must do. Ruginya tak amik gamba lagiiii. snow snoww please turun lagi. sukenyeee snow. 

Ok. I think that is enough for now. Long list dah. hehe.

What else...? hmmm. I really want to sleep well. Sekarang dah ada masalah tidur. Peliknye lah untuk efi yang snorlax ni. Since exam aritu dah dapat syndrome ni. Hope sangat boleh tidur elok2 tonite. Out of nowhere, nak tanya anda yang baca, pernah tak rasa serba salah dalam buat decision? Nak pilih plan A, tapi dah buat plan B dulu. Tapi plan A lagi elok, even though plan B lagi penting. Plan A pulak dah banyak kali tertangguh, tapi plan B pun dah lama sangat tertangguh. ok. Keling gile ayat. Whatever it is, overall, saya pening dengan rasa bersalah membuat decision memilih plan A or plan B. wuuuuu. Can't I just do both at one time??

Regards,

efi

My last wish before exam

 Hope exam tak kena postpone esok because of snow. tak larat dahhhhhhh.

but if it still happen, adalah hikmahnya kot. T.T

Life is contiously changing

Salam

Life is continously changing
At least for me......

Mentally
Physically
Emotionally
Everything......

I hope I can be independent, not being affected by others in term of emotion. I really want to have a good control over my feeling. I pray hard for that

Amin

Regards
efi

Snowy Monday

Salam

in front of my house

It's monday. It's snowy and ada exam! hehe. Menjawab soalan dalam keadaan menggigil is so not cool. wuuuuu. Takutnye after jawab BMS2 tadi. Tak rase macam dapat jawab semua. Takutnye takutnye. But worry ends when faith begins. So, whatever pun, semuanya dah lepas. Kena tabah untuk menghadapi spot test pulak this friday. Let's open the book!

Rasa x sabar nya nak habis exam. Even though ada SSC (Student Selected Component) after that, tapi kira ok la asalkan tak perlu menelaah sangat. Just kena perah otak buat essay je. Weeeee~ Tak sabar nak cuti!!

in front of rumah kak amilia

Regards,

efi xx

Exammmmm

Salam

Lamenye x sentuh blog. haha! Kelakar pulak rasanya. Macam la bizi sgt sampai takde mase pun bukak blog kan (tp memang busy pun la :p) . Ape-ape pun before tu nak bagitau, Leeds dah salji!! It's snowingg...Tahun ni sangat awal snow. Tak sempat prepare ape-ape pun. Socks sume tak sempat beli lagi tapi snow dah turun dulu. huhu. And actually the official winter is 12 December tak silap. So, this year's christmas is really early lah. 

Second thing nak bagitau, saya deactivate facebook sekejap buat sementara ni sampai habis exam. Just sebab taknak lagha berjam-jam stalk orang kat facebook. huhu. And bolehlah menyorok senyap-senyap jadi low profile buat masa ni. hahaha (padahal tak famous pun). Well, takde facebook ni boleh nampak la banyak gak masa dah save untuk buat study. Perubahan yang bagus kan? kan?

Third thing, Isnin and Jumaat depan exams!! Sangat cuak. Tapi doa sangat lah semoga semuanya ok. Semoga tak gelabah jawab spot test macam tahun lepas. Spot test ni exam die scary tau. Die ade 30 stations and setiap satu station tu die letak satu prosection (bahagian badan mayat) and die cucuk beberapa pin kat mane-mane yang dia nak. And then, die suruh kita identify that part or selalunya dia akan tanya something related to that part; "What is superior to the blue pin?" Camtulah. Susah sikit bila dia tak direct to the point. And part yang lagi buat gelabah ialah, satu section ada 3 soalan and kita kene jawab dalam masa 100 saat. Susah kot kadang-kadang nak tengok arteri or vein kat mayat-mayat yang dah reput ni. haha. And also, ade satu station name die "living anatomy station" which kita kene check real patient macam kat clinical situation. Example, "palpate left brachial pulse". Kene buat dengan betul lah, baru dapat full mark. Step by step dengan betul. Kena cuci tangan pakai alcohol gel, approach patient from right side, ask for permission and everything dalam masa 100 saat gak untuk 3 soalan. So funny bila sangat gelabah sebab even tahu macam mana nak buat, tapi sebab cuak sangat, mengigil gak tangan time palpate patient depan examiner. 

Overall, kamu-kamu yang dah terbaca post ni please doakan kami ye. Semoga kami semua lulus dengan cemerlang. hehe. 

p/s: akan cuba lagi mengupdate post yang best after this.

Regards,

efi xx

NISE